An athlete getting fewer minutes than they expected may be questioning their ability. Meanwhile, a player getting plenty of time on the field, court or ice may be feeling the same way because their performance isn’t matching what they believe they should be producing.
Both athletes are looking at something different, but reaching a similar conclusion: maybe I’m not good enough.
As a coach, you may see two athletes who are working hard, improving, and contributing to the team. But if they don’t recognize those things themselves, your encouragement may only help until the next difficult game.
This is why building athlete confidence needs to be part of their development throughout the season. Athletes need to understand what they can rely on when the results aren’t giving them the reassurance they want.
Here are six ways coaches can help athletes build more consistent confidence.
1. Prepare on purpose
Preparation starts before an athlete steps onto the field, court or ice. It includes how they take care of themselves mentally and physically, how they get ready for practice or a game, and where they put their attention before it begins.
An athlete may have worked hard all week but arrive rushed, distracted, or unsure of what they need to focus on. Another may have their equipment ready but spend the entire time in the locker room worrying about their opponent or how much they’ll play.
Both can benefit from understanding what helps them feel ready.
Getting enough rest, eating to support their activity, allowing time for a purposeful warmup, and choosing a focus for the game are all parts of preparation. So is recognizing when they’re feeling nervous or distracted and knowing what helps them bring their attention back.
As a coach, help athletes build a routine they understand and can repeat. Explain what you want them to focus on during warmups and give them time in the locker room to prepare mentally, too.
Before practice or a game, ask:
“What do you need to do to give yourself the best chance to be ready today?”
The answer may be different for each athlete. The goal is for them to recognize how their preparation affects their readiness and take responsibility for the parts they can control.
When athletes know how they’ve prepared, they have something specific to trust before the game even begins.
2. Notice your progress
An athlete may be improving without feeling more confident because they’re only measuring progress through results.
A player who hasn’t scored in three games may overlook that they’re creating more opportunities. Another may feel frustrated about making a mistake without recognizing that they recovered much sooner than they would have earlier in the season.
As coaches, we have opportunities to help athletes see these changes.
Instead of only telling a player they had a good game, explain what you noticed.
“You got back into position after that turnover and were ready to defend the next play.”
That feedback helps the athlete understand what they did well and what they can repeat.
You can also ask:
“What are you doing better now than you were a month ago?”
Some athletes will need help answering. Over time, the goal is for them to recognize their own progress instead of waiting for someone else to point it out.
3. Focus on your role
An athlete who doesn’t understand their role may judge their performance against expectations that don’t match what the team needs from them.
A player may believe they need to score more to earn their coach’s trust. Meanwhile, their coach values how they defend, communicate, and create opportunities for teammates.
Without that conversation, the athlete may continue feeling like they’re falling short even when they’re contributing in ways their coach appreciates.
Having role clarity gives athletes a better understanding of where to put their attention and how to evaluate their contribution.
This matters for athletes getting significant playing time and those waiting for an opportunity. Every player should understand what is expected of them and how they can contribute from their current position.
As a coach, be specific. Explain what their role looks like during a game, reinforce it when you see it, and make time to revisit the conversation as the season develops.
Athletes can still want a larger role while learning to perform their current one with confidence.
4. Reset after mistakes
An athlete who starts a game feeling confident can begin questioning themselves after one mistake.
They may hesitate the next time they receive a pass, rush to make up for what happened, or stop communicating because they’re frustrated with themselves.
Telling them to move on doesn’t explain how to do it. They need a response they can practice.
The three-part reset I teach gives athletes a simple way to work through that moment:
Acknowledge: Recognize what happened without turning the mistake into a judgment about your ability.
Reset your body: Take a breath, release tension, or use a physical cue that helps you settle.
Refocus: Identify what the next play requires from you.
For an athlete who forced a pass, that could sound like:
“I rushed that. Take a breath. Look before the next pass.”
The mistake still happened, and there may be something to learn from it afterward. During the game, the athlete needs to be ready to participate in what comes next.
Practice the reset during drills so athletes have opportunities to use it before a difficult game.
Your reset doesn’t need to erase the mistake. It needs to prepare you for what comes next.
5. Use helpful self-talk
What an athlete says to themselves can make it easier or harder to respond when confidence drops.
A player thinking, “I always mess this up,” is likely to approach the next opportunity differently than one thinking, “I’ve practiced this. Get set early.”
Helpful self-talk can be encouraging, such as “I can handle this,” or it can give an athlete a specific direction, such as “Look up” or “Move your feet.”
The phrase should be something the athlete believes and understands how to use.
If a player is struggling, ask:
“What are you saying to yourself when that happens?”
Their answer may help you understand why they’re hesitating or becoming frustrated. From there, you can help them find language that supports their next action.
Give them time to practice using it. Like any other skill, self-talk needs reinforcement beyond the first conversation.
6. Know what works for you
Athletes on the same team won’t all prepare or respond in the same way.
One player may benefit from talking through their role before a game. Another may need a few quiet minutes to focus. After a mistake, some athletes can use a quick reminder right away, while others need a breath before they’re ready to take in feedback.
Helping athletes understand these differences gives them more direction in managing their own preparation and response.
After a game when an athlete felt ready and focused, ask what helped. Try to move beyond “I just felt good” and identify something they did.
Did they give themselves enough time to warm up? Did they focus on a specific part of their role? Did they use a cue that helped them return after a mistake?
Have the same conversation after a difficult game. What did they notice changing, and what helped them get involved again?
The more athletes understand their own patterns, the better prepared they are to make adjustments.
Make confidence part of how you coach
You don’t need to introduce all six of these skills at once.
Start with something your athletes are experiencing. If they’re overlooking their improvement, make time to point out specific progress. If they’re unsure how to contribute, have the role conversation. If mistakes are affecting the next several plays, teach and practice a reset.
Then pay attention to how they begin responding.
An athlete may still feel disappointed after a missed opportunity but be ready for the next one. They may start recognizing what went well without asking you first. They may be more willing to attempt a skill because they understand how they’ve prepared for it.
Those changes matter when you’re helping athletes build confidence that lasts beyond a good game.
Through Think Strong. Play Strong., the Athlete Track helps athletes learn and practice these mental performance skills. The Coach Track helps coaches reinforce them through clear communication, consistent language, and everyday coaching.
Explore Think Strong. Play Strong. to bring mental performance training into your team’s development.
